Why the "Fake Geek Girl" Meme is Just Another Game of "Hot or Not"

There is a lot of great conversation going on in feminist blogs about why the "Fake Geek Girl" meme is harmful to women, not to mention blatantly false. But I'd like to add a few thoughts of my own.

Found on The Mary Sue

This meme claims that there are women who feign interest in nerdy things in order to "prey" on men in that subgenre. The most common activity discussed is cosplay; the claim is that the women at conventions know nothing about the characters they are dressing as, and are only looking to show off their bodies in order to lure innocent men in. In short, they're fishing for dates.

This mindset is full of obvious problems, not the least of which is the insinuation that geeky men are easy "prey" for women. The men touting this theory probably don't see how badly they're insulting themselves there, but the fact is that it hurts all geek culture. It's counterproductive at a time when media and activities previously considered "nerdy" are now entering the mainstream, and nerd culture is gaining momentum among new audiences. It reinforces old ideas about nerds being socially inept, pushovers and not to mention, sexists.

But that's a side-effect. Instead of discussing its effects on geek culture, I want to investigate what's really happening at the core of this theme. Firstly, who identifies a Fake Geek Girl? Who decides which women are "true nerds" and which are pretending? Generally speaking, it's men. Self-described nerdy men who believe that the contents of the meme are true, and some women at conventions and other gatherings are only there to pick up dates.

So, what's the criterion for differentiating between a true nerd and a woman who is faking it? Other bloggers have pointed out, quite accurately I think, that it's generally attractiveness. As in: nerdy girls, by definition, cannot be hot. If you're hot and cosplaying, you're definitely just doing it for attention. It follows then, that the man doing the accusing finds the accused attractive. And here is where the true content of the meme comes out. These men aren't angry, they're just playing "Hot or Not."

Me, as Tony Stark for Halloween

This activity is harmful to the entirety of geek culture. Attractive women are objectified and told they aren't allowed to have an opinion. Women identified as "true geeks" can safely assume they are not considered attractive, and while most probably don't care what random men at conventions think of them, unsolicited confirmation of one's lack of attractiveness is still rude and hurtful. And finally, for nerdy men, it furthers the stereotype of the socially awkward pseudo-virgin who doesn't know how to behave properly around adult women.

By pointing out to the accused "Fake Geek Girl" that her features are on display and claiming that they are obviously meant to be seen as desirable, the accuser sexualizes the accused, and makes his attraction publicly known.

The fact that there are semi-intellectual discussions that boil down to boys pulling girls' hair on the playground taking place on the internet is embarrassing at best, deeply harmful to gender relations within geek circles at worst. I don't know what the answer is, because people are going to believe what they want to believe. Hopefully this ridiculousness will soon die down. Then we can focus on undoing the damage that has been done to our reputation as a legitimate subculture, and get back to gaming, cosplaying and LARPing together, in peace.